The 5 most common questions about first-time adoption

Adopting a child is a profound decision that will transform your life – and the life of your adopted child! Before embarking on this journey, it's crucial to ask yourself some essential questions to ensure you're ready for the responsibilities and challenges that come with adoption. 

In this article, I’ll delve into the five most common questions about first-time adoption, guiding you through the complexities and uncertainties of this process. These questions cover the essential aspects of adoption, from the initial steps of finding the right child for your family, to dealing with potential challenges such as bonding, adaption, and sibling dynamics. 

5 questions to consider when adopting a child

 1. Where Do I Begin in Finding the Right Child for My Family?

2. Do Adopted Children have any common traits?

 3. How Do I Foster a Strong Bond with My Adopted Child?

4. What if my adopted child doesn't adapt to the family?

5. How Do I Address Sibling Jealousy during the Adoption Process?

1. Where Do I Begin in Finding the Right Child for My Family?

The process of finding the right child to adopt can vary widely. While some parents may find their match quickly, for others, it may take longer. It's essential not to wait passively for the “perfect” child to come along, but to actively engage in the search process.

Start by exploring profiles of children in the foster care system or adoption agencies. Be open-minded and flexible about the child's age, gender, and background. Attend adoption events and informational sessions to learn more about the children in need of homes. Ultimately, it's about finding a connection and being willing to welcome a child into your family. Adoption agencies serve as a vital resource for prospective parents, providing guidance and support throughout the adoption process. These agencies typically conduct home studies.

What is a home study?

A home study is a critical component of the adoption process, during which a social worker evaluates the prospective parents' suitability to adopt. This assessment typically includes interviews, background checks, and home visits. Once a match is made between prospective parents and a child, legal proceedings are initiated to finalise the adoption. This may involve court appearances, documentation, and compliance with adoption laws and regulations.

What about foster care and international adoption?

Foster care adoption involves adopting a child who is currently in the foster care system. Unlike adoption, foster care is normally temporary. Prospective parents can work with foster care agencies to provide a loving home for children in need, who will then move on after the agreed-upon time period.

Meanwhile, international adoption allows prospective parents to adopt a child from another country. This process requires adherence to the adoption laws and regulations of both the child's home country and the adoptive parents' country of residence.

2. Are there any common traits among adopted children? 

Each adopted child carries a unique set of experiences and challenges. However, certain common themes may emerge, including feelings of insecurity. This feeling may stem from the adopted child’s early life experiences, such as separation from their birth parents or time spent in institutional care. These feelings may manifest as attachment issues, low self-esteem, or difficulty trusting others. Children who have spent time in institutional care may also have limited exposure to the outside world, resulting in developmental delays or challenges in adapting to new environments.

  3. How Do I Create a Strong Bond with My Adopted Child?

Building a strong bond with your adopted child is something that will unfold gradually over time. Love evolves through shared experiences and consistent care. In light of this, try to foster an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Encourage open dialogue and actively listen to what they have to say. Dedicate regular, uninterrupted quality time to spend together engaging in activities your child enjoys. This could be anything from playing games, reading books, or simply talking and sharing stories. 

Establishing predictable routines and consistent boundaries can provide stability and security for your adopted child. Consistency helps them feel safe and builds trust over time. Honour and respect your child's cultural, ethnic, and familial background. You could incorporate aspects of their heritage into your family life and celebrate important traditions together. 

Alongside this, recognise that your child may have experienced loss, trauma, or difficult transitions before joining your family. Approach them with empathy, understanding, and patience as they navigate their emotions and past experiences.

Don't hesitate to reach out for support when needed. Connect with other adoptive families, join support groups, or seek guidance from adoption professionals or therapists who specialise in adoption-related issues. Consider joining the Adoption Support group on the StoriBoard app for invaluable insights and tips from fellow adoptive parents. 

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Acknowledge and celebrate milestones, both big and small, in your child's life. Celebrating achievements and milestones together strengthens your bond and reinforces their sense of belonging in the family. Be flexible and adaptable in your parenting approach, recognising that every child is unique and may require different strategies for building a strong bond. Stay open to learning and growing together as a family.

 4. What if my adopted child doesn't adapt to my family?

Psychologists suggest it typically takes about a year for a foster child to fully adapt.

However, adaptation periods vary, and some children may take longer than this. If a considerable amount of time passes without signs of progress, seeking help from a psychologist can help assist in identifying and addressing any underlying issues hindering your child's adjustment. During this challenging period, try to remain patient, understanding, and supportive.

Building trust and creating a nurturing environment are key. Additionally, self-care is essential for caregivers to manage their emotional well-being. Connecting with other parents who have experienced similar situations can provide valuable support and insight. Reading about others' experiences with foster care adaptation can also offer guidance and reassurance. Ultimately, every child's journey is unique, but with dedication and support, you can help your newly adopted child navigate the transition and thrive within their new family environment.

 5. How Do I Address Sibling Jealousy during the Adoption Process?

Integrating an adopted child into a family with existing siblings can sometimes give rise to feelings of jealousy or insecurity. Open communication and reassurance play pivotal roles in addressing any tensions or concerns that may arise. Allocate quality time for each child individually and as a family to nurture bonds and create positive experiences for all your children. Encourage transparent dialogue regarding emotions and feelings in order to validate each child's experiences.

When all's said and done, adoption is a journey filled with challenges and immeasurable rewards. Joining the Adoption Support group on the StoriBoard app instantly connects you to a supportive environment where you can chat with others who understand the challenges and rewarding moments of adoption. Take the next step in your adoption journey by downloading the StoriBoard app today and becoming a part of our compassionate and understanding community!

*Link only works on mobile

Deborah Kogan is a European Media Studies student at the University of Potsdam, currently an associate student at Queen Mary University of London, and a Marketing Intern at StoriBoard.