The Benefits of Saying Hello: Rethinking Stranger Danger for Adult Friendships

Growing up, the phrase ‘stranger danger’ was something that was drilled into me from a young age. Parents and teachers alike routinely emphasised that any unfamiliar person could pose a potential threat, and that I should be wary of this at all times. 

While this advice was certainly not without merit, and it would be highly irresponsible to suggest that all strangers can be trusted, it's important to note that many safety organisations have moved away from the “stranger danger” narrative in recent years owing to a widespread recognition that it might actually be doing more harm than good (Newiss, 2016). Indeed, this approach paints all strangers with the same brush, even though there are cases where we rely on strangers for our safety. Think police officers, paramedics or other first responders: these people are typically unbeknown to us, yet they play a pivotal role in ensuring our safety and wellbeing. 

It’s no secret that the lessons we learn as children influence our later life choices, and stranger danger messaging is no exception to this. But, could such early teaching to avoid strangers have a detrimental impact on our ability to connect with new people as adults? In our ever increasingly digitalised world, where virtual communication often takes precedence over face-to-face interactions, loneliness is on the rise with 1 in 4 adults reporting regular feelings of isolation (Nicioli, 2023). At a time when meaningful human connections are more important than ever, are we letting our fear of the unknown keep us from forming the bonds we truly need?

Science has long explored the benefits of friendship and has consistently found that stable, supportive relationships with our friends are crucial for living a healthy and fulfilled life (American Psychological Association, 2023). But, it’s not just our nearest and dearest that contribute to our well-being; despite the ‘stranger danger’ warnings we’ve all grown up with, research has repeatedly shown that interacting with strangers as adults can actually make us feel more socially connected and emotionally fulfilled.

Are you victim to spending at least a fiver on a coffee everyday from your local Pret or Starbucks? Well, this habit might not actually be such a bad thing. Indeed, in a study that investigated social interactions between strangers and their baristas when waiting for a cup of coffee, it was found that those who engaged in simple exchanges such as smiling, making eye contact or having a short conversation with their barista experienced higher levels of happiness compared to those who kept to themselves (Sandstrom et al, 2013). 

Notably, the benefits of these encounters extend well beyond just boosting our happiness. In a study where participants were instructed to strike up conversation with strangers, they reported feeling less anxious and more confident after doing so, compared to those who were told to simply observe these unfamiliar faces (Sandstrom et al, 2022). Similarly, other research has highlighted that even making eye contact with a stranger can make you feel more connected (Wesselmann et al, 2012). 

So it’s clear: interacting with strangers, even in the smallest of ways, can have a significantly positive impact on our well-being. Science shows that these brief encounters can boost our happiness, increase our confidence, and foster a greater sense of connection with the world around us.

Yep, you read that right. Interacting with strangers isn’t just good for you, but it can be beneficial for society as a whole. We’re living in a world engineered for our ultimate convenience, designed so that as long as we have a screen handy, we can pretty much do anything and everything from the comfort of our homes. 

And, when we do venture out and are surrounded by strangers, we have our headphones in, our eyes glued to a screen and our attention wholly consumed by a never ending For You Page. We pass others by without even exchanging a simple glance or nod in their direction, and miss the opportunity for meaningful connection in the process. 

Behavioural scientists challenged such societal norms in a study where participants were asked to talk to strangers in places that most of us would categorise as strictly ‘no talking to each other zones’ like trains, waiting rooms and buses. While participants were initially uncertain about how these interactions would go, they reported feeling pleasantly surprised to find such conversations enjoyable and mood-boosting. Even more interestingly, the strangers they spoke to were equally open and receptive, suggesting that these exchanges were mutually beneficial. This experiment was later replicated in London, a city notorious for its anti-social commuters, and similar results were found (Epley & Schroder, 2014). The conclusion here? Engaging with strangers not only improves your own mood, but also has a powerful impact on those around you. 

So, the next time you're on your commute, why not strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you? While they might not always be interested, research shows that more often than not, these interactions will be appreciated by both you and the other party. Interacting with people outside our usual social circle is powerful way to expand our perspectives; it opens the door to new ideas, diverse experiences, and insights to different cultures and identities, helping us grow as we navigate our adult lives.

While we are not encouraging strangers to approach anyone in an unwelcome way, we are strong believers in the value of stepping outside your comfort zone as an adult and rethinking what it means to meet someone new. After all, every friend you’ve ever had was a stranger at first. Not everyone will turn into a lifelong friend, but every once in a while, someone will, and it just feels like magic.

Make new friends by joining the StoriBoard Club. Take our 5-minute quiz, get matched with five like-minded people, and enjoy our exclusive partner venues. Making new friends has never been so easy! 

This article was written by Emma Annetts - a member of the StoriBoard Marketing Team.